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How To Become Sane Again

15 May

I decided to reanimate this blog when I acknowledged that I trust Vladmir Putin right now- more than any politician in the USA -most especially their newly elected despot; I wont grace him with putting his name on my writing. I thought maybe it was time to have a place to put my frustration and confusion ideas down.   A place to lay them to rest, I hope.

The world has become mental. We used to think we were mental. but now we are scary kill everyone all at once mental. Can’t you feel it like electricity in the air?

Its not that I’m angry. I’m not.  I can see clearly that there are some very positive things coming from the current level of unprecedented planetary insanity.  The more Nukes North Korea tests, the more the no-nukes folks come out of their 20 year hiding place and begin the conversation of the importance of being diligent to work on behalf of peace in the face of such rapidly emerging global technologies. In other words, now is not the time to rest.

The more we talk about climate change as a fantasy, the spin the American government is putting on the sweeping crises taking over the planet, the more the stewards an protectors of the world emerge, both young and old.  This is a critical conversation which must occur as it crosses all cultural and religious parameters.  It is beyond ageism, as young and old can both greatly contribute to each other’s knowledge and understanding of what is happening on the planet.  And the time is undoubtedly now as the ecology is in crisis beyond anything we have ever known.

The more we talk about the collapsing economy, the more we hear the conversation about the priorities of life, what we really think about the value of money, and the bigger conversations about what does and does not really mater in life.

Long ago, we as “first world cultures” lost our penchant for philosophy.  I think we may have become very arrogant, not looking to further our minds, only improving our material position in the world.

what came with this shift was the need to “protect” our materialism.  In Western cultures, we became insanely attached to certain beliefs about how our lives were sustained.  we have become accustomed to things for our daily sustenance, that will not serve us if there is a major global catastrophe.

Simple things like electricity, hot running water and vehicles that are powered by fossil fuels, are fundamental distractions to actual human survival.

SO, we can look at the current situation in our world and feel a great deal of concern, but there is a reemergence of the need to understand ourselves, again, in this “new world”, just like our ancestors did.

Imagine being a cave man, awakening in a new world, with thousands of unknown dangers abounding every day? Each day presenting a new way of needing to look at survival.

This is the future we are entering.  And those of us who have the ability to learn basic survival, are obliged to do so, because those of us who know must teach and encourage.

I speak with allot of people today who have had what they call “spiritual” experiences.  They have moments of feeling connected, aware and conscious of life and the world in a different more cohesive way.

One of the “symptoms” of a spiritual experience, toted as such across a variety of reilious and philosophical beliefs, is that the newly awakened person feels a shift in their relationship to nature.  You feel more connected, less fearful, more a part of all the life around you.

We know beyond science, that the world is experiencing a shift in consciousness – a change in the way we perceive who we are and what our roles are in this world.  A time where we are recommencing the conversation Plato and Locke began – the conversations that shape our world.

This science meets spirit time, is both exciting and terrifying.

I recently had the thought that Kim Jon Ung baby ego games with nuclear weapons is like a lunatic in a kindergarten class, and no one seems to be doing anything about it. Its like all the teachers outside of the class, chatting about what is happening inside and refusing to send in snacks for nap time to the lunatic as punishment.

It is insane.

But because we are so much more connected, both technologically and energetically, we can FEEL the tension – the insanity, in such a more tangible and visceral way.

It’s the reason for the increase of anxiety and the proliferation of anxiety medications on the planet.

ts also the reasons for the sudden wave of Yoga and meditation practices in the west.

We living things always seek to re balance ourselves a soon as any part of us feels a dis balance. Its one of the laws of the universe – everything out of balance seeks re-balance. There is some order, some form to these events.  This must be true, but we are an integral part of the conversation which will put things back into a forward, life sustaining motion.

Lucky for us another universal law seems to be that life always wins.

I realize everything seems incredibly BIGGER THAN LIFE right now, and can be overwhelming beyond words, but that is no reason to stop the conversation.

Imagine…Even WE are shocked. You and I who are a part of this generation of systematically desensitized minds. I think about my dad who was raised in the Canadian prairies in the 1920’s and 30’s – his “simple life”, also filled with fear with world war 1 and 2, but still, I would give these days for those any day. There seemed to be an honour in the world. as gross and horrific as those wars were.  There was a sense of good and bad, right and wrong.

Today, we don’t seem to have that anymore.  In other words, there are no limits to the level of atrocity we are able to commit.  Our moral lines have been pushed by our desensitization.

It is not an outside enemy we have to fight then.  Its the understanding we have of ourselves.  Its the prioritization, the conscious choice, to live in a way that is a real life.

If your electricity was cut off tomorrow, would you be panicking after a week?

if so, take responsibility for that now.

Do you rely on a food source that is five miles from your house?

Fix that.

We have become mesmerized by our own comforts, and all of your fear comes from your very deep knowing that you have no clue how to support yourself. If you didn’t fear for your next meal, for your home and for your ability to survive, how would your life change?


I’m not saying run out and buy emergency kits they sell on American radio, preying on your fears. I don’t mean be afraid AT ALL. I’m saying the opposite. If you can deal with your own level of insecurity, then you will be able to make more clear choices about who you choose for your leader, and what you believe about the world.

Look at the poor people in North Korea who believe their leader is “divine” and that they must do everything his insanity dictates  to guarantee their own safety and security.  Their belief system relies on one person they have never met, who is clearly a fanatic, for their survival. Does this not sound insane to you?  These are people just like you and I, with families, and houses. who get up in the morning and think about their day – how they can maybe make it a good one.

Maybe like you they go to a job they are only doing because they love their famlies and are supporting others.

Maybe they hate their boss – just like you?

The point is, no matter the culture, we have all fallen for the stories that have been sold to us.

The average north American spend their entire supporting one percent of the population who holds all the wealth.

Its the same problem everywhere, in different shapes.

And the solution to the problem is not the outrage we express outwardly, but the actions we take today, inwardly.

Empower yourself by finding every way possible to get to know and understand who you are, and what you can do to be your own source of security.







MIND~AWARENESS: Personal Inventories

7 Jan

I was speaking with one of my old students this morning. He’s only 21, and he shared a pretty strong mystical experience.  Just like everyone I am meeting, he  wants to know where it comes from, what it is and how to make it last. That feeling of connection and flow is so wonderful, who wouldn’t want to get that back?  I think the point of the experience is not for us to spend our lives trying to create “heaven on earth”, in our human life, but to become starkly aware of ourselves so that we better understand and deepen our connection through human experience.  It means adopting tools so you know yourself deeply and truthfully.

 It seems that mystical shifts are not more likely in any one cultural demographic group then another; young, old, black, white, asian and Muslim – I have met people from all walks of life who have had direct experiences of the Divine.   Although we tend to attribute mysticism to people who have made a conscious choice to dedicate their lives to the pursuit of the spiritual, it is when spiritual things begin happening to people who would otherwise be considered non-religious that we begin to pay attention to the meaning of these experiences in a way that contributes something not only to our intelligence, but also to the way in which we interact with each other. In all cases, the one most critically common feature is that all mystical experiences stress “interconnectivity” between you and all living things.  It makes sense that the way we see each other changes, because we understand our unity in a  way that surpasses our words. The boundaries that existed between people and the opinions we have of one another and each other’s belief systems have become increasingly  less important.  Global consciousness supersedes global opinion – and our consciousness seems to be paying attention and growing at an incredible rate. We even have evidence of it.

Before the emergence of Global consciousness it would not have been possible for the  incredible fundamental changes to women’s social status such as we are seeing in the Gulabi Gang or the brave young Malala in Pakistan to make the efforts and changes on behalf of sublimated women in the Middle East.  Our energy, our global desire – supports this movement. Global consciousness is the energy behind the action. Ten years ago this would not have been even possible. The strength of agreement between us all is what allows this change in the basic fabric of the Middle Eastern and Indian culture to take place and it is growing exponentially every day.  We have a strong silent bond with one another and when something is moving in a forward positive creative fashion, as is the women’s movement in the Middle East, it seems that collectively our energetic will become stronger and even more powerful. In fact, the same could be true for fast rejection of ideas which are contrary to the greater good.  It is not possible to go backwards, bThought Processut we can delay progress.  The increasing will and return of power to cultures in the world is strong evidence of the physical results of global consciousness.

Most people are starkly unaware of what it is that is truly behind their thoughts and decisions.  First and foremost is that you acknowledge that a mystical experiences caused a seed to be planted within you. This seed holds the potential for a limitless future.  It will grow and change and adjust as will you.  Your only job is to keep that ground fertile and healthy and willing to receive more.  To honour and further understand your experience, taking care of how you think is the key to being able to receive and give communication from the Source you connected with. This means keeping your mind free and clear.  There is no coincidence that we today see a vast increase in people doing Yoga and meditation. The seed planted within you is powerful; it allows you the conscious connection with God; with the mind of the Universe. Faith is your ability in human life to use what is freely offered to you by It. So, the first step is honesty; truth. In order to see that world and live in it, you must discover what takes up time in your consciousness, and what darkens your vision.  What are your resentments, anger, fears, guilt?  Being aware of these emotions is critical because it enables you to not allow unconscious thinking to clog up the space of light that has opened in you with a mystical experience.  You want to “keep your house clean”, meaning you want to know what it is you are allowing to have time and space in your head.

We are on an evolutionary path of self discovery in a way that will work to sustain our planet and perhaps open the gateway to others as quickly as within our lifetimes.  Our first step is in keeping our own minds heads and hearts clear and ready for whoever we are needed to do whatever it is we do.  12 step programs call this action “doing a fourth step”; taking a personal inventory of your assets and the things that hold you back.  In their 5th step people in recovery are asked to share the things that they feel ashamed of, the things that pin them down based on guilt or remorse from the past and fear of the future. By sharing that with a Higher Power and another person, they have taken a physical action toward opening up a space empty and ready for light to fill it.

There is no such thing as empty space in the entire universe – except for dark matter.  By becoming consciously responsible for the things that affect your energy, you can decide what will fill your space.  Will it be empowering or debilitating? Will it move you forward or cause you to stand still? You are beginning on a path of unbelievable empowerment once you become aware of what you can and cannot control.

There are things that bother everyone.  We all have some lurking issue, problem, fear, guilt, resentment – some thought that tugs and pulls at our hems until we are forced to follow it, at least for a little while. Meditation can help you to become presently aware of the thoughts that are nagging in the back of your head.  The act of meditation can also bring in the useful skill of “non-judgement” in your waking life, as it is important not to judge the thoughts that cross your mind – only to watch them pass and know they are there.  Nothing has ever been solved by thinking about it.

Journalling, ritual or ceremony or Boxes can be a great tool in identifying and taking a physical action to put aside the things that are taking up space over which you have no immediate control or power to change. These things are the ones you give to God.  Then you wait, and each time you find yourself worrying or thinking or trying to solve one of these issues that you have relinquished control over, remind yourself that there is a Higher Power taking over this department for a while.

At first this is very difficult for some of you!  That’s because you think you have allot more control than you really do. The only thing you can really control is how you perceive what is happening in your life. You can either be grateful or not. You can grow where you are planted or always try to find exterior solutions to interior problems.

If we were talking about taking off the veils that stop you from seeing your own light, than clearing out the garbage that restricts you, is the first thing on your list.  Then we can go on filling all those open spaces with light and truth and peace.



29 Dec

People come to a mystical experience through difficulties and hardships in life. No one comes to this place because of easy circumstances.  The top five most stressful life events include 1- death 2- divorce 3- change of employment 4 – relationship change 5- illness. Any one of these situations can cause a person to reach a deep psychological bottom which causes them to surrender emotionally and spiritually to the uncontrollable forces of life and the stage is set for Source to enter with an energetic interception.

The events preceding my spiritual experience were also significant and impacting upon my life. As they say, “order is born of chaos”, and so, my soul was in dire chaos; probably the worse of my life. My choices had brought me to a significant impasse and on this day, I had to literally make the decision to live or die. I had reached a crossroads and was “down on my knees”. To my amazement, I found that this decision was not entirely in my hands.

pink cloud…

The point of this writing and this book is to validate to another person the experience of mystical shifting.  To that end, and thorughout the book I will share what happened to me with you to see if it feels familiar. In my case things began to change for me right away and for about two weeks, I remained in a state of complete euphoria. Everything seemed perfectly synchronous. I was making connections and having revelations at every turn. Everything I did drove me to help and be there for another person. I looked for ways to help people in my days. But the most important change that occurred was that, in my own personal history, I now sought the Truth and began wanting to know the Truth, fearlessly, about every dark corner of my thoughts and beliefs. It was then that I felt I needed t actually capitalize the word Truth, such was the importance it held for me. Any dishonesty I had in my head or heart, no longer was able to be contained there. I began “coming clean” with people in my life, and making real honest decisions about how I felt and what I wanted.  

Through writing, I looked for the deep down nasty bitter truth in every single action and thought I entertained. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I sat quietly, then I raged.  I lived through anger that was almost unbearable, and I feared for my own safety and the safety of my family from my temper outbursts and unreasonable expectations. I was a ball of fear and frustration and I had to face my most critical demon; my ego. And it was a fight I could only do alone; as my family watched helpless to do anything to relieve the mental and moral pain I was in, this is the journey in the desert every truth seeker needs to make.  We make this journey alone, without family or friends but not without resources.  I had NO CHOICE but to call upon a Higher Power…something greater than me. My ego had become so distorted as a result of my childhood and early life learning that I was no longer able to only use my 5 sense to make decisions about my life. Time had run out on that for me. I now had to learn how to rely more on my intuition than I ever had in my life. Some call it faith. Whatever it was, it was absolutely driving me to find out the Truth about how I felt, what I believed,  who I was, what I wanted and most importantly, WHY I wanted.

Very soon, I realized that what I was beginning to understand for myself as an individual was occurring to people around me, in new people I met, in the newspaper, on the news, in books, radio, songs, poems, strangers, old friends…people were awakening to a new understanding of our reality. And someone had to be brave enough to say it out loud, so that we could get past the wonder and fear a soon as possible and get to finding a solution for our world through a combination of all the scientific and cultural disciplines, that have until now, remained disparately apart and incongruent. There is no more time for incongruence, and the faster we realize this, the faster we will join our resources to create the technology that is required to move forward. Whether that means saving this world or creating another; which is a very real possibility, and we need to get over it and get serious very quickly. In this case time is very relevant.

Following my experience, I received sign after sign, coincidence after coincidence that things had changed. My perception of people, places and things completely altered. And at times, when I would slip back into my disconnected ego mind, (which is what I call anything that is not of my God mind), then I experience human slips, and I feel the separation starkly. I have discovered even these painful times, when we feel so disconnected and alone and frightened, are just as necessary as the moments of revelation and congruency; without one, we would never need or know the other.

            During the first few weeks, I spent quite a bit of time believing that I was completely loosing my mind. I had gone from “bi-polar rapid cycling manic depression”, this label I carried around with me for weeks thinking it was “who I was” – to something else, but I didn’t have words or understanding of it yet.

            From my journal 2 months after the dream…

 “The events that have occurred to me, miracle after glorious miracle, have unravelled around me. So great has been my overflowing joy and complete stunned wonderment, that I constantly seem to be giving myself a psychological “pinch” to ensure that I have not gone completely insane and have finally disconnected myself from reality. I must be crazy – but it feels great.”

My fear of “insanity” was a valid fear, having been raised in a very alcoholic home with several suicidal role models, I had spent a great deal of my first 30 years just trying NOT to be crazy.

“Not it seems, even when I want to, I cannot shut it off. My fears of loosing this new awesome way of viewing life seem to be, against all the odds of a strong and stubborn mind, becoming a resolutely inseperable part of my being. “

Soon afterwards I would try my hand at “freestyle channelled writing”. I would receive great revelations that would take days and weeks and months to acknowledge and integrate into my life.

“The only failure we can observe in life is n failing to recognize that our greatest trials can elevate us to heights of joy that are unimaginable to anyone who has not suffered. Those who choose the path of least resistance will continue to do so until they are compelled to choose something to rest upon.”

I had decided to stop wandering and rest…on the Truth.

More and more revelations followed.

I experienced personal miracles, and a real direct communication from Source that I was on the right track.

 April 10, 2010

What I am beginning to understand is that there really never HAS BEEN a beginning or an ending – to ANYTHING. It’s all one big continuation, like a wave that comes under and feeds itself perpetually. There lies a REAL miracle! Where does God get his energy from? I’m afraid to say “Us” because that sounds so un-humble, but I will venture to do so. The energy works in reciprocity.”

 Other aspects changes, like my relationship with animals. I understand that what happened was that the Source of my being, the source of everything, opened within me with that dream. So, the result was that, unbeknownst to me, I was able to feel animals in a very different way. Over weeks I began to observe my animals change in reaction to me. I no longer felt fear in any circumstance, and was able to attract animals that normally would have been indifferent or would have avoided me altogether. I began to become aware of the language my horses spoke to one another;

  April 6, 2010

“Another revelation? In observing my horses at lunch today, I realize that even in the most discreet of their interactions, they were always speaking some sort of awesome ancient language. When I am amongst the herd, for example, they have to have made some silent communication of agreement that I am not a threat, a judgment on my character. Trust. This agreement was not made visible to me, but I am sure there is one leader, probably Master (my senior horse), who always seems to be on sentry duty. How amazing.”

 This is the same ancient language that moves through us all, from one into the other. Every thoughts, every decision and every choice you make results in a flow of circumstances. Within ‘The All that is everything”, is us and we are it.  We are conduits of energy, just like my dog and just like the sun.  All performing an exquisitely choreographed dance of love.


6 Dec

connectDecember 21 is quickly approaching and even the greatest “non-believers” are talking about what the possible implications of the date are. There is a plethora of movies and books emerging in the past few years covering every subject: the Apocalypse, Revelations, awakening, environmental shifting and religious reformation. It has become mainstream quickly and this is the good news. Now more than ever there is a ton of information available to anyone who wants to keep and maintain a connection to source. This is the reality of this next level of human evolution where the veil of what we thought we were is being lifted and we are being shown what we truly are.

Today I was coming out of a little funk I have been in feeling directionless and sort of without purpose which, for someone who has spent 20 years raising children and having a REALLY busy life can be a bit distressing. It seems like I am being handed very little for my plate right now, and when you become as used to juggling chaos as I have become, then you don’t quite know what to do with your hands – or your mind – when they are no longer required to be in constant service.

So, I started to run down what I do in my “purposeless” life:

I have a farm and I work hard with my horses and various tasks around. For normal people, this would seem like enough. But no. I also have a mostly full time musical career, so I juggle late nights, rehearsals and musicians temperaments. I am the band manager and I handle all our graphic work, PR and most of our gig booking. I have three bands right now in three different genres of music. My repertoire exceeds 500 songs. I smoke weed to stay sane.

On weekends I give riding lessons.

I have two very needy dogs that I spend a lot of time training and managing, on top of 9 horses (well…including the donkey) 2 goats, I have no clue how many cats anymore since we have adopted the neighbourhood.

On top of it, my husband’s job has really cut back and our income in is probably 1/3 of what it was when we began farming and I had the cute little “city” farm with the arena, that fell down and caused catastrophe. So we are suffering financially in a crazy way.

Christmas is coming up and I don’t know if I will have anything to buy my kids present.

My mother has brain cancer and all of my sisters and brothers who are much older than I am are aging and turning the corner fast. I will be the one left here. There are those things that must be managed.

Managing the smaller budget, making food and trying to make the house look not-so-teenager infested is my daily routine.

But, I feel purposeless? I feel inactive? I feel worthless? That’s ridiculous.

Some days are admittedly quiet. I said to my husband just this morning that I felt that it wasn’t that I had been depressed over the last little while; it almost felt like there was a quiet time…a pause…in activity. In life – something was going on inside of me, that my outside life looked quiet, but my inside life was very busy.

My intuitions lately have been through the roof. But my level of interaction with the world in the past few weeks has gone to an all time low. The synchronicities are amazing to me still. Yesterday I had lunch with a friend who is in the same space exactly and spoke of her experiences in such a relatable way, a small space of light was able to open up and I didn’t feel alone in my aloneness. Today I listen to a radio station online which I hadn’t listened to in nearly 9 years and the level of direct communication I felt from God on just the thing that was disturbing my heart was almost eerie. I even did something I never ever do; I called in to speak to the radio host. He was helping people understand how to manage emotions and I thought – what can I lose?

But then I thought I would rather talk about how to manage knowing yourself as a spiritual being in the context of real life – like not having enough money for Christmas. As I sat waiting on the phone nervously (I never ever call radio shows – I don’t even listen to them much), I sat nervously waiting and listening to him answer caller after caller who were calling in with the same complaints as I had. I always figured that if I got a “regular job” like I had in the old days, as a receptionist or in sales or something that requires me to wear pumps and make-up to work (God…the thought makes me feel sick in my stomach), then things would be better because I would be curing the issue of financial difficulties. But every time I open the newspaper or think about sending my CD to a temp agency, I am immobilized with dread. It just feels like going back into that world is going backwards and not forwards, and I really think we are all meant to go forwards. So, I wanted to ask him how exactly does one manage knowing that this body and all the material things around me are completely temporary and valueless in the spiritual world, which is where we all emanate from, but we need those things in human life to exist. In fact, if I didn’t have these “basic things”, then I wouldn’t have the time for this kind of thinking at all. Where is the balance? And even more, how can I “preach” self-worth and creativity to everyone if I can’t follow that myself? It makes me feel like a hypocrite. My words mean nothing until I back them with some sort of action plan.

As I listened I received all of the answers I needed. First off an action plan: Ironically, my action plan is to have no action plan at all, but instead to follow my guidance – for once. Take the time to notice where I am being pointed, and why, because obviously it doesn’t sit well with me to go “backwards”, so I must be willing to move forwards.

And willing I am!

The radio show host said some really interesting synchronous things. Funny enough, I never did get to speak with him, but I didn’t need to by the time it finished.

He said exactly what I said to my husband this morning. Some quotes:

Many of us are being taken offline at this point – continental planes we are being asked not to function completely in the old way.

Not meant to be functioning in the old way



I know it sounds funny to say it like that – but it is exactly how it feels. Restored to factory settings.

It is happening too many of us. This quiet shifting within ourselves. Some space that is opening up and making us feel more receptive to things we may not have ever considered in our lives. Many minds are opening to the similarities and the walls of difference are being broken down each day. The internet and our ability to speak to each other openly is a big and important part of the opening of our conscious minds.

No one governs the internet…and no one can control what it is we can and cannot learn about ourselves and each other anymore. The walls have come tumbling down…and we are caught up in the tide of the emergence of our true selves.

We have been sold a real bill of good on who we are by our historical “powers-that-be”. Religions, political structures and false cultural beliefs have all tried to tell you that you are someone you are NOT.

* You are not POWERLESS

* You are not A VICTIM

* You are not a Child of your culture – you are a child of God/Allah/Y-hew/etc…

*You are a divine representation of God/Allah/Y-Weh etc… Here on earth

*There has only ever been one like you – EVER

*There will NEVER be another one like you

*You were given special powers

*Dark forces (however you define those) have veiled your knowledge of yourself. You are a spiritual being living a divine human experience

*God does not get angry – God does not JUDGE YOU (that would be like judging Him/her? It Self!)

* God just wants to help.

I may live far from you…but we are THE SAME. We are made from the same materials. When the Big Bang or whatever happened, all the molecules that create you and me were made. Since then they have been formed and reformed again and again. The thing that connects us all is SOUND – sound is the energy of the universe. That’s why music is so important. What you do and what you think impacts me. How you make decisions in your life helps to decide the fate of the world. Even the smallest most heartfelt song is heard by all of creation.

And everyone has a song! I don’t mean you are all musicians – but everyone was given a deep creative desire – a talent. This may come out in your work, as an artist, or in the way you care for your friends and family – but rest assured you have a creative gift and if you are not using it regularly – well you know what they say – what you don’t use starts to shrink.  You can never lose the talent God gave you – but you can ignore it. Which is what most of have done.

We all have felt small and insignificant. We feel like what we do is not important because…well hey…look at the huge universe hanging over our heads! We are so small – but we are not insignificant. We are POWERFUL beyond understanding! Everything we THINK has a pervasive, enormous and long-lasting effect on the Universe…not just our microscopic lives. If you meditate every day for 20 minutes – you CAN help heal the world. Imagine that! Just by quieting your mind and energy, if each person meditated each day, the effects on the energy of the planet would be immediate!

Your first thought may be to go to all the “uncreative” things you have thoughts today. Negative thoughts or things you have done which may not have been in your best interest. But really, think about all the GOOD you do in a day. Holding the door open at the grocery store for an old lady goes allot further than you think in the grander scheme of things.

But in whose best interest is it for you to know exactly how powerful you are? Not in the interest of organized religion or political powers certainly. Don’t you think it makes sense that fear (which we know to be the opposite of love) would have made the early creators of our cultures want to find a sense of CONTROL in the world which was so new to them and seemed so OUT OF CONTROL. In order to direct and control people’s beliefs about their essential natures through religion and political structures created for the sole purpose of CONTROLLING THE DEVELOPMENT OF SOCIETY.

Today we know better. We are all awakening to some new sense of ourselves. A feeling that what we have been thinking of as “important” in our daily lives has to shift and change. The value of being energetically fit and the knowledge that we are all connected on that energetic level. Life and the way we see our lives is changing very quickly and we seem to be in fact in a holding pattern. Prior to this energetic shifting, you may have felt the pressures of daily life in a different way. Sure, we all have financial issues at times, we have living issues, personality issues, job problems, family and health challenges. These experiences do not disappear once you have experienced the awesomeness of The All that is. But, the way you approach them and the impact they have on your daily existence will be greatly changed.

It is not possible in this human experience to live without some form of material support for most people. Once you have a shift experience, you can’t just drop your life, wave goodbye to your family, buy an orange robe and go chant on a mountainside. You still have to manage the realities of this human experience as well. That’s why we are a very important generation. Those of us who are here now are the pioneers of this kind of forward thinking. How to maintain and balance a human existence with spiritual knowledge is the great challenge of every awakened being today.

Every morning I try to read something spiritual to center my thoughts and guide my day. On this particular day I decided to read some blogs. Because I’m not really interested in “Aunt Annie’s Muffins” or “Our trip to Thailand” kind of reader, I usually go straight to the “spiritual” topics blogs. But again, I was sorely disappointed to see that most of the blogs I encountered were almost exclusively religious. Let me repeat – SPIRITUALITY has nothing to do with religion. It has to do only with the energetic connection we all have to one another. How you find that connection, through religion or other means – is an entirely personal decision and one which only you can explore to see what resonates as Truth with your soul. All paths to Rome – are good. I’d like to put forth that the practices I am emphasizing are both inclusive for all religions and exclusive in that they adhere to none of them.



24 Sep

The concept of “mystical experience” is widely misunderstood in western culture.  It seems to be more easily accepted and understood by those who have been subjected to eastern religions such as buddhism or Taoism in their upbringing. Up until 1970 modern psychiatry did not distinguish even between mystical experiences and mental illness in the form of psychosis. In fact, Arthur Deikman, one of the first researchers to recognize the distinction in some way, even termed a spiritual experience of the divine “mystical psychosis”.  Later on Carl Jung went on the give mysticism a stronger more viable place in the multifaceted treatment of patients, proving in fact that the spiritual condition of a person is relevant to their perception of the world and hence their mental states.   Even though Jung completed his research many decades ago, we in the Western world are much slower to adapt to change in the practices which reflect our deepest beliefs, and it is clear that Western culture lacks the ability to believe in something which cannot be proven by the 5 physical sense.  Jung was inferring that medicine in general needed to look beyond the physical and into the world of energetic intuition, a concept well ahead of its time.

It is possible in fact that our evolution as species have caused our gradual intuitive dumbing down until this point where we are entering a period where we will not even be able to sustain ourselves, such is the damage we have caused the environment which we live off of now. It almost seems like the smarter we got technically and intellectually, the more we forgot of the fundamental principles of life.  Many in the West are experiencing a complete disconnect with the natural world, oblivious to the impact their choices have on the world.  It is very uncommon if not impossible for someone living in a third world culture to experience such a disconnect as they rely more heartily on what the earth can op0rovide them as sustenance.  When we entered the “Age of Reason”, in the 14th century, the world became a “show me” place. Great physical discoveries, coupled with rapid advancements in mathematics caused man to begin to leave behind the superstitions brought along with them from the Greeks, romans and middle ages middle ages and begin to seek quantifiable proof if something was to be believed.

Indigenous and ancient cultures have no problem working with and interacting through the energetic influences of nature, but as we became more technologically and materially oriented and dependant, the western world has become a cluster of cultures with a stark inability to survive in a cooperative fashion with the environments that sustain us. Our current generation has been raised by 8 cumulative generations of people who taught and supported only the 5 sensory approach to life.  It was a kill or be killed mentality in all of our modern developments.  Any type of interaction with the energetic dimension was dismissed as superstition and imaginary.  Separation from our initial source has been viewed as heroic and progressive. But times are changing now, and people are becoming more and more attuned to the importance of staying conscious of that feeling of connectivity some people experience through a mystical or a spiritual experience.

Throughout the ages, these experiences have been reserved for prophets and poets, usually men. The occasional woman made  landmark impression on the theological world such as the ecstatic revelations of St. Theresa of Avila, personally my favourite saint, because of her ground breaking work in meditation and connection with the soul, which is best experienced through the book “Entering the Castle” by Caroline Myss.  In it, Myss describes common states of conscious ness in mystical experiences and goes on to say how these experiences arte no longer reserved for monks in monasteries, that in fact we were becoming a world of “mystics without monasteries”.

According to Delphine Ciafardone Rossi’s theological dissertation for her PHD, “Mystical experiences, defined in the literature as a wholly transformative event, can elicit positive and lasting changes in one’s perception of reality, forever changing one’s life meaning and purpose.” 1  The symptoms of this experience have  common traits: a sense of connectedness to all, a feeling of understanding God beyond words and langauge, feeling of presence and of stillness.  Mystical experiences have the longe term effect of eliciting a compassionate mindset and a desire to be of service to others.   Those who have experienced a mystical shift in consciousness find they can relate to other common symptoms at first; a substantial change in sleep patterns, a feeling of unrelenting joy, contentedness, a sense of connection to all living things, abundant energy, desire to help others and loss of fear & phobias are amongst some of the most common shift experiences identified.  Some people find that their ability to learn and understand complex connections has been greatly sped up and that the creative voice within becomes much stronger and more insistent than in the past. Physically some people report experiencing tingling sensations in the crown of the head and base of the spine. Some become physically more energetic, even seeming to regress in physical age and feel and look younger.  The immediate effects are almost like euphoria, and over time of course, the immediate and obvious effects quiet down, but the lasting effects never fully disappear, lending themselves instead to an ability to change the overall worldview of the affected individual over time.

Modern psychologists and doctors use a standardized test to assess the degree to which you have a) experienced a mystical shift and 2) how it has affected your life and choices, determining whether or not you have a “resilient world view”.  To asses the degree to which you have had a divine experience, the INSPIRIT test  developed by Dr. Jared D. Kass, asks you to answer four questions and relate them to a scale of “did not have this experience” to “convinced me of the existence of God”

SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES (have you had one of the following?)

1- an experience of profound inner peace

2- A feeling of unity with the earth and all living beings.

3- An experience of God’s energy and presence

4- An experience of a great spiritual figure (Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Mary, Elijah etc…)

And for each of these decided a rating  of 1-5 :  1 being that you have never had such an experience and 5 being such an experience convinced you of the existence of God.

The most important aspect of these experiences, says Kass, is our ability to develop a healthy and versatile worldview, whereby we are able to experience life’s trials and tribulations peacefully, “if your world view is resilient, you can respond to a crisis constructively”.

And this is the whole point isn’t it?  Everyone I speak to says they want to be “happy”, that this is the ultimate goal of their lives, but in fact this really isn’t what they are seeking. What we are all seeking is the ability to handle the trials and tribulations that are a natural part of life’s journey, with equanimity and peace. We want strength of heart and the ability to make something good from all of the difficulties that we will manage each day. Kass says a resilient worldview is empowering because it can help you each day to 1- mobilize your energies when you need to act 2- relax your body and mind when you need to rest 3- think for yourself when others don’t know what is best for you 4- trust in others and in life itself when you have done all that you can.

Spirituality is not the only way to develop a resilient world view, but it is one that has worked for countless generations.  When we speak of it here or elsewhere, it is not in relations to any religious affiliation, but rather to the recognition that there is “a spiritual core that creates and sustain the fabric of life”.2  In twelve step programs they call it finding a higher power so that you can meet life on life’s terms. Spiritual awareness in life can create mystical shifts. The more one is open to the possibility that there is a cohesive intelligence which is the generating energy behind all human experience, it is not such a far stretch to begin to want to access that energy consciously and use it to experience physical life.

Religious institutions have risen up over the centuries accumulating their power based by claiming to be the “go between” for God and man. More commonly experienced mystical shift have eliminated the middle man and people are able to now take up their personal divine power.  If you were in need of guidance, you were not encouraged to listen to your heart, you were told to follow what the church told you. Each one of the Masters had a distinct method and approach to teaching, but the one thing they all had in common was the belief and understanding that God lives within each individual. Jesus was very clear in his teachings that we should make no other laws other than the ones he set down, which were divinely given to him, and yet not only did we add a plethora of rules, we even created rules about how we could communicate with the energy of the thing that gave us life in the first place! It is your inalienable right to be on a first name basis with our creator, but for a long time we didn’t understand this or how to use it. Religious institutions made God separate and unattainable to us in a bid for power and control over the cultural development of our moral behaviour. Communication with God in most religions was reserved for a specialized few, chosen not by God but by men.  Woman were quickly ruled out of religious power hierarchies, probably because the powers-that-be felt threatened by the power women held as healers and child bearers. Woman may have been perceived as having too much power over “life and death” of a culture and so, often very violent steps were taken to control them. In western history people who claim to have direct contact with the divine have been rejected out of hand as lunatics and psychotics. It is very interesting to note then that Abraham Maslow, one of the founding fathers of modern psychology discovered that the symptoms of a mystical experience and psychosis were essentially the same, except that a mystical shift resulted in a heightened state of consciousness that allowed the person experiences it to be aware of the experience. conversely, crazy people don’t know that they are crazy – but awakened people know they are awake.

This is perhaps why one of the precipitating factors in a mystical shift can be an emotional “disorder” such as clinical depression or bi-polar disorder. The emotional state of the individual is already so stressed, that at certain moments they are more open to a “peak experience” – an experience of divinity within themselves. We have become so conditioned to believe that divinity exists apart and separately from us, that we have stopped believing the most basic interactions which the universe not only can but MUST have with us in order to continue moving forward in creation. The perception of separation form the source which created us is in large part responsible for emotional disorders such as depression, bi-polar and anxiety.  Mystical shifts can have the effect of curing patients of these disorders are they cannot exist in the shifted and more healthy worldview that one adopts following the unity that is experienced during the shift.

side note…

17 Jun

Just a  note to those of you who have been asking about the next chapters…they are coming 🙂 thank you for reading me … I am working hard to finish this book.  I appreciate so much all of your coments an dfeedback, thoughts and experiences. They are enriching me and the book in so many ways. 

Meanwhile I have been keeping up with if you are interested in discussion about mental illness and integrating spiritual lifestyle into modern living. 🙂 I love the dialogue.



5 Jun

One morning while out visiting friends I received  an urgent call from my husband announcing that he had been laid off of work.  It was potentially tragic news.  With many financial responsibilities, not the least amongst which was our five burgeoning teenagers, horse farm and various living creature to care for, this unexpected news could have really sent us both into fear quite easily.

Instead I found that I was more interested in the unfolding story than was I afraid of anything.  A few moments after he told me, I sat quietly and waited to see what my reaction would be.  To my own surprise, I found that not only was I not upset, but I was in fact quite excited!  In the past this news would have been received with a great deal of fear and reactivity. I was unable to handle life’s most basic challenges without overwhelming fear. My reactions would have been unconscious and desperate.  I would have run out to find a job, tried selling of parts of the farm, horses, my car…panic!  And when no solution would present itself within a short time I would fall into a depression; my mind’s way of trying to control the uncontrollable.  But my mystical experience clearly showed me that we are in fact not only all connected, but we are all the same thing. We emanate from the same source and the purpose of our lives is to experience everything that can be lived within the context of our choices. This is how I came to see everything as an experience, not as something the universe was doing “to me”.

Prior to my shift, I had absolutely no faith that anything was going to help me but myself and I exhausted myself daily with trying to control the uncontrollable.  I tried “making my family happy”, I tried working very hard, I tried taking on multiple roles and tasks, I tried..and yet I did not succeed at anything but exhausting myself.   Take my husband for example. Every day he would come home tired, overwhelmed and obviously unfulfilled in his daily life.  But because of who he is and how much responsibility we have in our lives for our kids and the farm animals we take care of, he was choosing to put his sense of responsibility over his personal happiness.  But God enters when we are not making decisions that can move us forward creatively and spiritually. When something is in our way, impeding our ability to reach our highest creative selves, I guarantee you that the universe will take it away to make room for your best interests to play out.  You can see this in your own life, looking in  the past to things you may have been disappointed about loosing or not getting what you thought you wanted but can now see the reason and the better situation you are probably in because you didn’t get what you wanted.

Instead of reacting to my husband’s news, I was able to sit back and just observe the unravelling of events that eventually led him back to a job he had very much enjoyed in the past but had left for this new project.  I could see that the Universe was taking care of him and we had nothing to fear.   The positivity of my reaction to this “bad news” created a scenario where we were able to look forward to the upcoming “unknown” like two kids who were enjoying a really terrific mystery movie, not quite knowing what was around the next corner.  We could have acted like we would have in the past; standing still afraid and reactive. and as his partner I could certainly have created fear and distraction, and surely would have in the past except for this new feeling that we were absolutely and certainly cared for.

The great benefit of this new connected mentality is the lack of reactivity I experience.  Being “non-reactive to the events in life is often a great after effect of mystical shift. Being reactive only cause us to reanimate the negative energy that has caused us pain.  Being non-reactive means that we see things form a more universal viewpoint and are able to stand back without trying to control and solve all of the world’s problems at once.  The shift allows us to face our problems with a detached knowledge that all is as it should be (yes…even the worse scenarios ARE EXACTLY AS THEY SHOULD BE) because they are as we have created them. We are able to create ANY scenario we want. The change of attitude from fearfulness to fearlessness. Life is not about you, what happens to you, how it affects YOU, what YOU will do, where YOU stand in the middle of it.  Life is not about YOU. And yet…everything is about You.  Figure out where you stand and why you stand there…and then move forward. Bring that energy outwards and use it for someone else.  You need to know YOU to know what it is you even have to offer someone else.  Taking the time, do the work…then move past it.

Many people get stuck in the self search.  For most people, life is all about them. Everything that happens is taken personally, and most people become blindly self-absorbed unable to look up from their own lives. Be aware that there is a fine line here.  You HAVE to spend time in introspection and self understanding. Otherwise, you will continue to prove Einstein’s definition of insanity true; doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, really is crazy. But the result of the self search will be that you take what you learn of yourself and become of greater service to the world.  Woman often tell me that they don’t have the “time” or that by taking the time to spend with themselves, they feel “guilty”. Our culture has been very negligent in respecting our personal need for introspection.  If you want to give so much to your family, friends, job – then you have to know what it is exactly you are giving them?

Can you sit with yourself?

Take yourself out to lunch?

Can you be as giving to yourself when there is no one around to approve the giving?

How much giving do you do for the approval of others?

Being still and alone requires that we also be alone with our thoughts. Our boredom.  We are thrill seekers, and when there is no chaos, often we will try to create it.  Being still means doing nothing and getting out of the way. Be a watcher, not a fixer. Spend time with yourself and start to enjoy your own company. One of my favourite essays by Canadian songwriter Tanya Davis called “How To be Alone” illustrates in fine detail the struggles we may encounter in standing still and taking the time and energy to get to know yourself as well as you would a partner or a friend. The poem urges you to start small and grow from there: lunch by yourself, then to a movie maybe, a dinner with fine linens and no book to uphold between you and your fear of the perceptions of those around you. If you are at first lonely, be patient – Davis advises.  You will find that over time, the way you make choices and how you treat yourself and the people around you will change because the value you place on the opinion of others will change. You will need more time to be still and centered in self and will find that what you have to offer those around you will grow exponentially.

It is important to have quiet time every day to maintain this connection. Learning what works for you takes time and things may feel a little new and awkward at first, like any new habit, learning how to integrate your spiritual interior in the life and habits you have always had.   Standing still and taking the time to understand yourself before reacting to anything will result in naturally more serene and connected life and will help you to become conscious and acknowledge the influence of the spiritual in your daily life.