6 Dec

connectDecember 21 is quickly approaching and even the greatest “non-believers” are talking about what the possible implications of the date are. There is a plethora of movies and books emerging in the past few years covering every subject: the Apocalypse, Revelations, awakening, environmental shifting and religious reformation. It has become mainstream quickly and this is the good news. Now more than ever there is a ton of information available to anyone who wants to keep and maintain a connection to source. This is the reality of this next level of human evolution where the veil of what we thought we were is being lifted and we are being shown what we truly are.

Today I was coming out of a little funk I have been in feeling directionless and sort of without purpose which, for someone who has spent 20 years raising children and having a REALLY busy life can be a bit distressing. It seems like I am being handed very little for my plate right now, and when you become as used to juggling chaos as I have become, then you don’t quite know what to do with your hands – or your mind – when they are no longer required to be in constant service.

So, I started to run down what I do in my “purposeless” life:

I have a farm and I work hard with my horses and various tasks around. For normal people, this would seem like enough. But no. I also have a mostly full time musical career, so I juggle late nights, rehearsals and musicians temperaments. I am the band manager and I handle all our graphic work, PR and most of our gig booking. I have three bands right now in three different genres of music. My repertoire exceeds 500 songs. I smoke weed to stay sane.

On weekends I give riding lessons.

I have two very needy dogs that I spend a lot of time training and managing, on top of 9 horses (well…including the donkey) 2 goats, I have no clue how many cats anymore since we have adopted the neighbourhood.

On top of it, my husband’s job has really cut back and our income in is probably 1/3 of what it was when we began farming and I had the cute little “city” farm with the arena, that fell down and caused catastrophe. So we are suffering financially in a crazy way.

Christmas is coming up and I don’t know if I will have anything to buy my kids present.

My mother has brain cancer and all of my sisters and brothers who are much older than I am are aging and turning the corner fast. I will be the one left here. There are those things that must be managed.

Managing the smaller budget, making food and trying to make the house look not-so-teenager infested is my daily routine.

But, I feel purposeless? I feel inactive? I feel worthless? That’s ridiculous.

Some days are admittedly quiet. I said to my husband just this morning that I felt that it wasn’t that I had been depressed over the last little while; it almost felt like there was a quiet time…a pause…in activity. In life – something was going on inside of me, that my outside life looked quiet, but my inside life was very busy.

My intuitions lately have been through the roof. But my level of interaction with the world in the past few weeks has gone to an all time low. The synchronicities are amazing to me still. Yesterday I had lunch with a friend who is in the same space exactly and spoke of her experiences in such a relatable way, a small space of light was able to open up and I didn’t feel alone in my aloneness. Today I listen to a radio station online which I hadn’t listened to in nearly 9 years and the level of direct communication I felt from God on just the thing that was disturbing my heart was almost eerie. I even did something I never ever do; I called in to speak to the radio host. He was helping people understand how to manage emotions and I thought – what can I lose?

But then I thought I would rather talk about how to manage knowing yourself as a spiritual being in the context of real life – like not having enough money for Christmas. As I sat waiting on the phone nervously (I never ever call radio shows – I don’t even listen to them much), I sat nervously waiting and listening to him answer caller after caller who were calling in with the same complaints as I had. I always figured that if I got a “regular job” like I had in the old days, as a receptionist or in sales or something that requires me to wear pumps and make-up to work (God…the thought makes me feel sick in my stomach), then things would be better because I would be curing the issue of financial difficulties. But every time I open the newspaper or think about sending my CD to a temp agency, I am immobilized with dread. It just feels like going back into that world is going backwards and not forwards, and I really think we are all meant to go forwards. So, I wanted to ask him how exactly does one manage knowing that this body and all the material things around me are completely temporary and valueless in the spiritual world, which is where we all emanate from, but we need those things in human life to exist. In fact, if I didn’t have these “basic things”, then I wouldn’t have the time for this kind of thinking at all. Where is the balance? And even more, how can I “preach” self-worth and creativity to everyone if I can’t follow that myself? It makes me feel like a hypocrite. My words mean nothing until I back them with some sort of action plan.

As I listened I received all of the answers I needed. First off an action plan: Ironically, my action plan is to have no action plan at all, but instead to follow my guidance – for once. Take the time to notice where I am being pointed, and why, because obviously it doesn’t sit well with me to go “backwards”, so I must be willing to move forwards.

And willing I am!

The radio show host said some really interesting synchronous things. Funny enough, I never did get to speak with him, but I didn’t need to by the time it finished.

He said exactly what I said to my husband this morning. Some quotes:

Many of us are being taken offline at this point – continental planes we are being asked not to function completely in the old way.

Not meant to be functioning in the old way



I know it sounds funny to say it like that – but it is exactly how it feels. Restored to factory settings.

It is happening too many of us. This quiet shifting within ourselves. Some space that is opening up and making us feel more receptive to things we may not have ever considered in our lives. Many minds are opening to the similarities and the walls of difference are being broken down each day. The internet and our ability to speak to each other openly is a big and important part of the opening of our conscious minds.

No one governs the internet…and no one can control what it is we can and cannot learn about ourselves and each other anymore. The walls have come tumbling down…and we are caught up in the tide of the emergence of our true selves.

We have been sold a real bill of good on who we are by our historical “powers-that-be”. Religions, political structures and false cultural beliefs have all tried to tell you that you are someone you are NOT.

* You are not POWERLESS

* You are not A VICTIM

* You are not a Child of your culture – you are a child of God/Allah/Y-hew/etc…

*You are a divine representation of God/Allah/Y-Weh etc… Here on earth

*There has only ever been one like you – EVER

*There will NEVER be another one like you

*You were given special powers

*Dark forces (however you define those) have veiled your knowledge of yourself. You are a spiritual being living a divine human experience

*God does not get angry – God does not JUDGE YOU (that would be like judging Him/her? It Self!)

* God just wants to help.

I may live far from you…but we are THE SAME. We are made from the same materials. When the Big Bang or whatever happened, all the molecules that create you and me were made. Since then they have been formed and reformed again and again. The thing that connects us all is SOUND – sound is the energy of the universe. That’s why music is so important. What you do and what you think impacts me. How you make decisions in your life helps to decide the fate of the world. Even the smallest most heartfelt song is heard by all of creation.

And everyone has a song! I don’t mean you are all musicians – but everyone was given a deep creative desire – a talent. This may come out in your work, as an artist, or in the way you care for your friends and family – but rest assured you have a creative gift and if you are not using it regularly – well you know what they say – what you don’t use starts to shrink.  You can never lose the talent God gave you – but you can ignore it. Which is what most of have done.

We all have felt small and insignificant. We feel like what we do is not important because…well hey…look at the huge universe hanging over our heads! We are so small – but we are not insignificant. We are POWERFUL beyond understanding! Everything we THINK has a pervasive, enormous and long-lasting effect on the Universe…not just our microscopic lives. If you meditate every day for 20 minutes – you CAN help heal the world. Imagine that! Just by quieting your mind and energy, if each person meditated each day, the effects on the energy of the planet would be immediate!

Your first thought may be to go to all the “uncreative” things you have thoughts today. Negative thoughts or things you have done which may not have been in your best interest. But really, think about all the GOOD you do in a day. Holding the door open at the grocery store for an old lady goes allot further than you think in the grander scheme of things.

But in whose best interest is it for you to know exactly how powerful you are? Not in the interest of organized religion or political powers certainly. Don’t you think it makes sense that fear (which we know to be the opposite of love) would have made the early creators of our cultures want to find a sense of CONTROL in the world which was so new to them and seemed so OUT OF CONTROL. In order to direct and control people’s beliefs about their essential natures through religion and political structures created for the sole purpose of CONTROLLING THE DEVELOPMENT OF SOCIETY.

Today we know better. We are all awakening to some new sense of ourselves. A feeling that what we have been thinking of as “important” in our daily lives has to shift and change. The value of being energetically fit and the knowledge that we are all connected on that energetic level. Life and the way we see our lives is changing very quickly and we seem to be in fact in a holding pattern. Prior to this energetic shifting, you may have felt the pressures of daily life in a different way. Sure, we all have financial issues at times, we have living issues, personality issues, job problems, family and health challenges. These experiences do not disappear once you have experienced the awesomeness of The All that is. But, the way you approach them and the impact they have on your daily existence will be greatly changed.

It is not possible in this human experience to live without some form of material support for most people. Once you have a shift experience, you can’t just drop your life, wave goodbye to your family, buy an orange robe and go chant on a mountainside. You still have to manage the realities of this human experience as well. That’s why we are a very important generation. Those of us who are here now are the pioneers of this kind of forward thinking. How to maintain and balance a human existence with spiritual knowledge is the great challenge of every awakened being today.

Every morning I try to read something spiritual to center my thoughts and guide my day. On this particular day I decided to read some blogs. Because I’m not really interested in “Aunt Annie’s Muffins” or “Our trip to Thailand” kind of reader, I usually go straight to the “spiritual” topics blogs. But again, I was sorely disappointed to see that most of the blogs I encountered were almost exclusively religious. Let me repeat – SPIRITUALITY has nothing to do with religion. It has to do only with the energetic connection we all have to one another. How you find that connection, through religion or other means – is an entirely personal decision and one which only you can explore to see what resonates as Truth with your soul. All paths to Rome – are good. I’d like to put forth that the practices I am emphasizing are both inclusive for all religions and exclusive in that they adhere to none of them.



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