Archive | December, 2012


29 Dec

People come to a mystical experience through difficulties and hardships in life. No one comes to this place because of easy circumstances.  The top five most stressful life events include 1- death 2- divorce 3- change of employment 4 – relationship change 5- illness. Any one of these situations can cause a person to reach a deep psychological bottom which causes them to surrender emotionally and spiritually to the uncontrollable forces of life and the stage is set for Source to enter with an energetic interception.

The events preceding my spiritual experience were also significant and impacting upon my life. As they say, “order is born of chaos”, and so, my soul was in dire chaos; probably the worse of my life. My choices had brought me to a significant impasse and on this day, I had to literally make the decision to live or die. I had reached a crossroads and was “down on my knees”. To my amazement, I found that this decision was not entirely in my hands.

pink cloud…

The point of this writing and this book is to validate to another person the experience of mystical shifting.  To that end, and thorughout the book I will share what happened to me with you to see if it feels familiar. In my case things began to change for me right away and for about two weeks, I remained in a state of complete euphoria. Everything seemed perfectly synchronous. I was making connections and having revelations at every turn. Everything I did drove me to help and be there for another person. I looked for ways to help people in my days. But the most important change that occurred was that, in my own personal history, I now sought the Truth and began wanting to know the Truth, fearlessly, about every dark corner of my thoughts and beliefs. It was then that I felt I needed t actually capitalize the word Truth, such was the importance it held for me. Any dishonesty I had in my head or heart, no longer was able to be contained there. I began “coming clean” with people in my life, and making real honest decisions about how I felt and what I wanted.  

Through writing, I looked for the deep down nasty bitter truth in every single action and thought I entertained. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I sat quietly, then I raged.  I lived through anger that was almost unbearable, and I feared for my own safety and the safety of my family from my temper outbursts and unreasonable expectations. I was a ball of fear and frustration and I had to face my most critical demon; my ego. And it was a fight I could only do alone; as my family watched helpless to do anything to relieve the mental and moral pain I was in, this is the journey in the desert every truth seeker needs to make.  We make this journey alone, without family or friends but not without resources.  I had NO CHOICE but to call upon a Higher Power…something greater than me. My ego had become so distorted as a result of my childhood and early life learning that I was no longer able to only use my 5 sense to make decisions about my life. Time had run out on that for me. I now had to learn how to rely more on my intuition than I ever had in my life. Some call it faith. Whatever it was, it was absolutely driving me to find out the Truth about how I felt, what I believed,  who I was, what I wanted and most importantly, WHY I wanted.

Very soon, I realized that what I was beginning to understand for myself as an individual was occurring to people around me, in new people I met, in the newspaper, on the news, in books, radio, songs, poems, strangers, old friends…people were awakening to a new understanding of our reality. And someone had to be brave enough to say it out loud, so that we could get past the wonder and fear a soon as possible and get to finding a solution for our world through a combination of all the scientific and cultural disciplines, that have until now, remained disparately apart and incongruent. There is no more time for incongruence, and the faster we realize this, the faster we will join our resources to create the technology that is required to move forward. Whether that means saving this world or creating another; which is a very real possibility, and we need to get over it and get serious very quickly. In this case time is very relevant.

Following my experience, I received sign after sign, coincidence after coincidence that things had changed. My perception of people, places and things completely altered. And at times, when I would slip back into my disconnected ego mind, (which is what I call anything that is not of my God mind), then I experience human slips, and I feel the separation starkly. I have discovered even these painful times, when we feel so disconnected and alone and frightened, are just as necessary as the moments of revelation and congruency; without one, we would never need or know the other.

            During the first few weeks, I spent quite a bit of time believing that I was completely loosing my mind. I had gone from “bi-polar rapid cycling manic depression”, this label I carried around with me for weeks thinking it was “who I was” – to something else, but I didn’t have words or understanding of it yet.

            From my journal 2 months after the dream…

 “The events that have occurred to me, miracle after glorious miracle, have unravelled around me. So great has been my overflowing joy and complete stunned wonderment, that I constantly seem to be giving myself a psychological “pinch” to ensure that I have not gone completely insane and have finally disconnected myself from reality. I must be crazy – but it feels great.”

My fear of “insanity” was a valid fear, having been raised in a very alcoholic home with several suicidal role models, I had spent a great deal of my first 30 years just trying NOT to be crazy.

“Not it seems, even when I want to, I cannot shut it off. My fears of loosing this new awesome way of viewing life seem to be, against all the odds of a strong and stubborn mind, becoming a resolutely inseperable part of my being. “

Soon afterwards I would try my hand at “freestyle channelled writing”. I would receive great revelations that would take days and weeks and months to acknowledge and integrate into my life.

“The only failure we can observe in life is n failing to recognize that our greatest trials can elevate us to heights of joy that are unimaginable to anyone who has not suffered. Those who choose the path of least resistance will continue to do so until they are compelled to choose something to rest upon.”

I had decided to stop wandering and rest…on the Truth.

More and more revelations followed.

I experienced personal miracles, and a real direct communication from Source that I was on the right track.

 April 10, 2010

What I am beginning to understand is that there really never HAS BEEN a beginning or an ending – to ANYTHING. It’s all one big continuation, like a wave that comes under and feeds itself perpetually. There lies a REAL miracle! Where does God get his energy from? I’m afraid to say “Us” because that sounds so un-humble, but I will venture to do so. The energy works in reciprocity.”

 Other aspects changes, like my relationship with animals. I understand that what happened was that the Source of my being, the source of everything, opened within me with that dream. So, the result was that, unbeknownst to me, I was able to feel animals in a very different way. Over weeks I began to observe my animals change in reaction to me. I no longer felt fear in any circumstance, and was able to attract animals that normally would have been indifferent or would have avoided me altogether. I began to become aware of the language my horses spoke to one another;

  April 6, 2010

“Another revelation? In observing my horses at lunch today, I realize that even in the most discreet of their interactions, they were always speaking some sort of awesome ancient language. When I am amongst the herd, for example, they have to have made some silent communication of agreement that I am not a threat, a judgment on my character. Trust. This agreement was not made visible to me, but I am sure there is one leader, probably Master (my senior horse), who always seems to be on sentry duty. How amazing.”

 This is the same ancient language that moves through us all, from one into the other. Every thoughts, every decision and every choice you make results in a flow of circumstances. Within ‘The All that is everything”, is us and we are it.  We are conduits of energy, just like my dog and just like the sun.  All performing an exquisitely choreographed dance of love.



19 Dec


To support those of you working hard with the consciousness shift occurring, I have created a daily inspirations site below.  Each day will give you a small task or project that will help in aligning your thoughts and intentions with the consciousness of the planet.

Thanks for reading! and keep up the good work 🙂



14 Dec

Every day I get these emails called 11:11 prompts.  They are supposed to be channeled messages from a man in Australia named George Barnard. I had never heard of George until a few years ago, when someone I had met said I may be interested in what he had to say.  The reason for my interest was because throughout my life I had always seen and noticed when the time was 11:11. over time I had developed my own superstition around this time, feeling that it was my angels or guides that were giving me a heads up that i was on the right track, or I was being watched over and cared for.  I didn’t know, until George Barnard that there are many thousands of people who hold this same belief and seem to be prompted to remember their guides almost daily. Some say that the people who are the observers of the prompts are earth’s “Midwayers”, people who are meant to help wake up the earth spiritually. These are people who have had a mystical experience or some form of transcendence which has allowed them to understand their connected nature to Source.  Like carriers of light in a dark room,  Midwayers  are intuitive people and work with guidance to take their next step.

The road to opening my mind to being able to believe in what I could not see, hear, feel or touch was a long arduous process.  I have probably spent the better part of my life being fascinated with all things otherworldly and ghostly. My favourite Christmas story as a child was Scrooge from my father’s old “Book of Knowledge” – 1921”. In it there was a lithographic print,  old fashioned and dusty looking, of Fezziwig and his wife, in ghostly form, dancing eerily around their workshop at the Christmas party they threw when Scrooge was a young man. The picture scared the hell out of me and I loved being scared.

I read voraciously and my understanding of spirits grew over time until I lost the fear factor in lieu of greater and greater curiosity. At some point my ghostly studies became enmeshed with my spiritual beliefs. Somehow, they came together as the mysteries of each were unveiled for me. Not that I am in any way completely clear on everything, but I have my moments.

Throughout my 30 years of studying ghosts and superstition, I went through all of the possibilities. I studied magic, Christianity, Satanism, Voodoo, Hoodoo (the American (New Orleans) version of voodoo), Judaism, Shamanism, Wicca, Buddhism, Yoga, Hinduism, Sufism, and Meditation.  I never claimed any one religion, but instead found myself with a personal understanding that more combined elements from each – resulting in a Sufist understanding of the world.

So, you can see that put in order the progression for curious mind seems pretty natural. I went from not really believing in anything but wanting to, to believing in a SUPER-UNIVERSAL Divine Mind that is both sentient and loving and is the place we all emanate from. THIS to me makes sense. It’s the kind of “concept” that feels right inside of me. I can connect to it; I can try and work with it. It is a functional concept of God that has brought me to living my life in a very different way than I used to. But, over time I saw that God wasn’t limited to what I know and understand. God could exist all over, at every time in every place.

And so, as the Universe will, I was asked to stretch my mind even further…

I had to go from Super-Universal Divine Sentient Loving Mind – the ALL that is EVERYTHING – To believing that this Spirit has sent us other aspects of itself to guide us with. Beings from “other places” that are able to travel back in time to convey messages of hope and spiritual direction at a changing time in our planetary history.

I’ll tell you that, as with every other stage of my learning, the skeptic in me demands some form of five sensory proof. Part of me thinks “Oh, just have faith” and then another part of me says “Yeah but show me”

But show me becomes a type of prayer. The Universe wants to acknowledge our request, because the only thing it desires is unequivocal union with us, and so It shows us – over and over again. We are shown direction, we are given inspiration, we are crossed with coincidences and synchronicities. And yet, we continue to look for what we think we are supposed to see, and so we fail to see what is right in front of us.

Listen: Every day that we get up and take a breath and put our feet on the floor and begin making choices an decisions, is a MIRACLE.  That fact that we even exist is a miracle. Then, we run around, not even understanding the level of power we have as individuals- we impact the world around us, with every thought and intention from start to finish. There is no getting around the fact that we are all so intricately connected through a web of such fine fabrication, that we could not even begin to understand the most basics of the impacts the ripples of our decisions make.

Not to mention the fact that our learning has increased by ten times what it was when you and I were young. The internet and the openness in human communication is causing a blowing up of the mind, such as we have never before seen in history.

It is becoming clear that if we on this planet believe we are the only forms of life in the Universe, we are completely in the dark. It is not possible to be a logical and thinking person without concluding somehow that there must be life elsewhere. How far of a stretch then is it for us to believe that this other kind of  life has abilities we don’t have yet? And that they have transcended the limitations of time and space, such as a we have been seeking to do since we first walked on earth. (I wonder if people acted as obtusely about Copernicus’s discovery that the earth wasn’t the center of the universe as we are about finding out that we aren’t the only ones in the universe.  I can see how both things would cause great turmoil and confusion in society. )

I can be scientific about this after all.  As crazy as “aliens from the future are speaking to us through mathematical prompts like 11:11” sounds, can you disprove it?  Are we able to clearly DISPROVE the POSSIBILITY of alien life? Of course not.  So, if you can’t disprove something – then must it not exist?

Our own science has proven repeatedly that the energetic world is far more complicated and intricate then they can even begin to understand.  Quantum physics has shown us that our mere observation of a quantum packet impacts the way it moves.  Time is a significant consideration too. It is no coincidence I think that if “aliens” were trying to reach us they would use how we observe time to get our attention, like using 11:11. Is it coincidence that computer language is 101010011110001 , ones and zeros?  I don’t think so.  Time is after all only of this place.  Science has shown that the Universe bends and shifts and is constantly expanding outwards, changing the nature of time in its very fabric, since Time exists only relative to space.

Just keep an open mind – remember – the miracle is not in the act, but in the observer.

For more information on George Barnard please visit


6 Dec

connectDecember 21 is quickly approaching and even the greatest “non-believers” are talking about what the possible implications of the date are. There is a plethora of movies and books emerging in the past few years covering every subject: the Apocalypse, Revelations, awakening, environmental shifting and religious reformation. It has become mainstream quickly and this is the good news. Now more than ever there is a ton of information available to anyone who wants to keep and maintain a connection to source. This is the reality of this next level of human evolution where the veil of what we thought we were is being lifted and we are being shown what we truly are.

Today I was coming out of a little funk I have been in feeling directionless and sort of without purpose which, for someone who has spent 20 years raising children and having a REALLY busy life can be a bit distressing. It seems like I am being handed very little for my plate right now, and when you become as used to juggling chaos as I have become, then you don’t quite know what to do with your hands – or your mind – when they are no longer required to be in constant service.

So, I started to run down what I do in my “purposeless” life:

I have a farm and I work hard with my horses and various tasks around. For normal people, this would seem like enough. But no. I also have a mostly full time musical career, so I juggle late nights, rehearsals and musicians temperaments. I am the band manager and I handle all our graphic work, PR and most of our gig booking. I have three bands right now in three different genres of music. My repertoire exceeds 500 songs. I smoke weed to stay sane.

On weekends I give riding lessons.

I have two very needy dogs that I spend a lot of time training and managing, on top of 9 horses (well…including the donkey) 2 goats, I have no clue how many cats anymore since we have adopted the neighbourhood.

On top of it, my husband’s job has really cut back and our income in is probably 1/3 of what it was when we began farming and I had the cute little “city” farm with the arena, that fell down and caused catastrophe. So we are suffering financially in a crazy way.

Christmas is coming up and I don’t know if I will have anything to buy my kids present.

My mother has brain cancer and all of my sisters and brothers who are much older than I am are aging and turning the corner fast. I will be the one left here. There are those things that must be managed.

Managing the smaller budget, making food and trying to make the house look not-so-teenager infested is my daily routine.

But, I feel purposeless? I feel inactive? I feel worthless? That’s ridiculous.

Some days are admittedly quiet. I said to my husband just this morning that I felt that it wasn’t that I had been depressed over the last little while; it almost felt like there was a quiet time…a pause…in activity. In life – something was going on inside of me, that my outside life looked quiet, but my inside life was very busy.

My intuitions lately have been through the roof. But my level of interaction with the world in the past few weeks has gone to an all time low. The synchronicities are amazing to me still. Yesterday I had lunch with a friend who is in the same space exactly and spoke of her experiences in such a relatable way, a small space of light was able to open up and I didn’t feel alone in my aloneness. Today I listen to a radio station online which I hadn’t listened to in nearly 9 years and the level of direct communication I felt from God on just the thing that was disturbing my heart was almost eerie. I even did something I never ever do; I called in to speak to the radio host. He was helping people understand how to manage emotions and I thought – what can I lose?

But then I thought I would rather talk about how to manage knowing yourself as a spiritual being in the context of real life – like not having enough money for Christmas. As I sat waiting on the phone nervously (I never ever call radio shows – I don’t even listen to them much), I sat nervously waiting and listening to him answer caller after caller who were calling in with the same complaints as I had. I always figured that if I got a “regular job” like I had in the old days, as a receptionist or in sales or something that requires me to wear pumps and make-up to work (God…the thought makes me feel sick in my stomach), then things would be better because I would be curing the issue of financial difficulties. But every time I open the newspaper or think about sending my CD to a temp agency, I am immobilized with dread. It just feels like going back into that world is going backwards and not forwards, and I really think we are all meant to go forwards. So, I wanted to ask him how exactly does one manage knowing that this body and all the material things around me are completely temporary and valueless in the spiritual world, which is where we all emanate from, but we need those things in human life to exist. In fact, if I didn’t have these “basic things”, then I wouldn’t have the time for this kind of thinking at all. Where is the balance? And even more, how can I “preach” self-worth and creativity to everyone if I can’t follow that myself? It makes me feel like a hypocrite. My words mean nothing until I back them with some sort of action plan.

As I listened I received all of the answers I needed. First off an action plan: Ironically, my action plan is to have no action plan at all, but instead to follow my guidance – for once. Take the time to notice where I am being pointed, and why, because obviously it doesn’t sit well with me to go “backwards”, so I must be willing to move forwards.

And willing I am!

The radio show host said some really interesting synchronous things. Funny enough, I never did get to speak with him, but I didn’t need to by the time it finished.

He said exactly what I said to my husband this morning. Some quotes:

Many of us are being taken offline at this point – continental planes we are being asked not to function completely in the old way.

Not meant to be functioning in the old way



I know it sounds funny to say it like that – but it is exactly how it feels. Restored to factory settings.

It is happening too many of us. This quiet shifting within ourselves. Some space that is opening up and making us feel more receptive to things we may not have ever considered in our lives. Many minds are opening to the similarities and the walls of difference are being broken down each day. The internet and our ability to speak to each other openly is a big and important part of the opening of our conscious minds.

No one governs the internet…and no one can control what it is we can and cannot learn about ourselves and each other anymore. The walls have come tumbling down…and we are caught up in the tide of the emergence of our true selves.

We have been sold a real bill of good on who we are by our historical “powers-that-be”. Religions, political structures and false cultural beliefs have all tried to tell you that you are someone you are NOT.

* You are not POWERLESS

* You are not A VICTIM

* You are not a Child of your culture – you are a child of God/Allah/Y-hew/etc…

*You are a divine representation of God/Allah/Y-Weh etc… Here on earth

*There has only ever been one like you – EVER

*There will NEVER be another one like you

*You were given special powers

*Dark forces (however you define those) have veiled your knowledge of yourself. You are a spiritual being living a divine human experience

*God does not get angry – God does not JUDGE YOU (that would be like judging Him/her? It Self!)

* God just wants to help.

I may live far from you…but we are THE SAME. We are made from the same materials. When the Big Bang or whatever happened, all the molecules that create you and me were made. Since then they have been formed and reformed again and again. The thing that connects us all is SOUND – sound is the energy of the universe. That’s why music is so important. What you do and what you think impacts me. How you make decisions in your life helps to decide the fate of the world. Even the smallest most heartfelt song is heard by all of creation.

And everyone has a song! I don’t mean you are all musicians – but everyone was given a deep creative desire – a talent. This may come out in your work, as an artist, or in the way you care for your friends and family – but rest assured you have a creative gift and if you are not using it regularly – well you know what they say – what you don’t use starts to shrink.  You can never lose the talent God gave you – but you can ignore it. Which is what most of have done.

We all have felt small and insignificant. We feel like what we do is not important because…well hey…look at the huge universe hanging over our heads! We are so small – but we are not insignificant. We are POWERFUL beyond understanding! Everything we THINK has a pervasive, enormous and long-lasting effect on the Universe…not just our microscopic lives. If you meditate every day for 20 minutes – you CAN help heal the world. Imagine that! Just by quieting your mind and energy, if each person meditated each day, the effects on the energy of the planet would be immediate!

Your first thought may be to go to all the “uncreative” things you have thoughts today. Negative thoughts or things you have done which may not have been in your best interest. But really, think about all the GOOD you do in a day. Holding the door open at the grocery store for an old lady goes allot further than you think in the grander scheme of things.

But in whose best interest is it for you to know exactly how powerful you are? Not in the interest of organized religion or political powers certainly. Don’t you think it makes sense that fear (which we know to be the opposite of love) would have made the early creators of our cultures want to find a sense of CONTROL in the world which was so new to them and seemed so OUT OF CONTROL. In order to direct and control people’s beliefs about their essential natures through religion and political structures created for the sole purpose of CONTROLLING THE DEVELOPMENT OF SOCIETY.

Today we know better. We are all awakening to some new sense of ourselves. A feeling that what we have been thinking of as “important” in our daily lives has to shift and change. The value of being energetically fit and the knowledge that we are all connected on that energetic level. Life and the way we see our lives is changing very quickly and we seem to be in fact in a holding pattern. Prior to this energetic shifting, you may have felt the pressures of daily life in a different way. Sure, we all have financial issues at times, we have living issues, personality issues, job problems, family and health challenges. These experiences do not disappear once you have experienced the awesomeness of The All that is. But, the way you approach them and the impact they have on your daily existence will be greatly changed.

It is not possible in this human experience to live without some form of material support for most people. Once you have a shift experience, you can’t just drop your life, wave goodbye to your family, buy an orange robe and go chant on a mountainside. You still have to manage the realities of this human experience as well. That’s why we are a very important generation. Those of us who are here now are the pioneers of this kind of forward thinking. How to maintain and balance a human existence with spiritual knowledge is the great challenge of every awakened being today.

Every morning I try to read something spiritual to center my thoughts and guide my day. On this particular day I decided to read some blogs. Because I’m not really interested in “Aunt Annie’s Muffins” or “Our trip to Thailand” kind of reader, I usually go straight to the “spiritual” topics blogs. But again, I was sorely disappointed to see that most of the blogs I encountered were almost exclusively religious. Let me repeat – SPIRITUALITY has nothing to do with religion. It has to do only with the energetic connection we all have to one another. How you find that connection, through religion or other means – is an entirely personal decision and one which only you can explore to see what resonates as Truth with your soul. All paths to Rome – are good. I’d like to put forth that the practices I am emphasizing are both inclusive for all religions and exclusive in that they adhere to none of them.