Archive | June, 2012

side note…

17 Jun

Just a¬† note to those of you who have been asking about the next chapters…they are coming ūüôā thank you for reading me … I am working hard to finish this book.¬† I appreciate so much all of your coments an dfeedback, thoughts and experiences. They are enriching me and the book in so many ways.¬†

Meanwhile I have been keeping up with www.honesttogodjo.wordpress.com if you are interested in discussion about mental illness and integrating spiritual lifestyle into modern living. ūüôā I love the dialogue.

~Namaste~

CH.4 BEING STILL

5 Jun

One morning while out visiting friends I received  an urgent call from my husband announcing that he had been laid off of work.  It was potentially tragic news.  With many financial responsibilities, not the least amongst which was our five burgeoning teenagers, horse farm and various living creature to care for, this unexpected news could have really sent us both into fear quite easily.

Instead I found that I was more interested in the unfolding story than was I afraid of anything.¬†¬†A few moments after he told me,¬†I sat quietly¬†and waited to see what my reaction would be.¬† To my own surprise, I found that not only was I not upset, but I was in fact quite excited!¬† In the past this news would have been received with a great deal of fear and reactivity. I was unable to handle life’s most basic challenges without overwhelming fear. My reactions would have been unconscious and desperate.¬† I would have run out to find a job, tried selling of parts of the farm, horses, my car…panic!¬† And when no solution would present itself within a short time I would fall into a depression; my mind’s way of trying to control the uncontrollable.¬† But my mystical¬†experience clearly showed¬†me that we are in fact not only all connected, but we are all the same thing. We emanate¬†from the same source and the purpose¬†of our lives is to experience everything that can be lived within the context of our choices.¬†This is how I came to see everything as¬†an experience, not as something the universe was doing “to me”.

Prior to my shift,¬†I had absolutely no faith that anything was going to help me but myself and I exhausted myself daily with trying to control the uncontrollable.¬† I tried “making my family happy”, I¬†tried working very hard, I tried taking on multiple roles and¬†tasks, I tried..and yet I did not succeed at anything but exhausting myself. ¬† Take my husband for example. Every day he would come home tired, overwhelmed and obviously unfulfilled in his daily life.¬† But because of who he is and how much responsibility we have in our lives for our kids and the farm animals we take care of, he was¬†choosing to put his sense of responsibility over his personal happiness.¬† But God enters when we are not making decisions that can move us forward creatively and spiritually. When something is in our way, impeding our ability to reach our highest creative selves, I guarantee you that the universe will take it away to make room for your best interests to play out.¬† You can see this in your own life, looking in¬† the past to things you may have been disappointed about loosing or not getting what you thought you wanted but can now see the reason and the better situation you are probably in because you didn’t get what you wanted.

Instead of reacting to my husband’s news, I was able to¬†sit back and just observe the unravelling of events that¬†eventually led him back to a job he had very much enjoyed in the past but had left for this new project.¬† I could see that the Universe was taking care of him and we had nothing¬†to fear.¬†¬† The positivity of my reaction to this ‚Äúbad news‚ÄĚ created a scenario where we were able to look forward to the upcoming ‚Äúunknown‚ÄĚ like two kids who were enjoying a really terrific mystery movie, not quite knowing what was around the next corner.¬† We could have acted like we would have in the past; standing still afraid and reactive. and as his partner I could certainly have created fear and distraction, and surely would have in the past except for this new feeling that we were absolutely and certainly cared for.

The great benefit of this new connected mentality is the lack of reactivity I experience.¬† Being ‚Äúnon-reactive to the events in life is often a great after effect of mystical shift. Being reactive only cause us to reanimate the negative energy that has caused us pain.¬† Being non-reactive means that we see things form a more universal viewpoint and are able to stand back without trying to control and solve all of the world‚Äôs problems at once.¬† The shift allows us to face our problems with a detached knowledge that all is as it should be (yes…even the worse scenarios ARE EXACTLY AS THEY SHOULD BE) because they are as we have created them. We are able to create ANY scenario we want. The change of attitude from fearfulness to fearlessness. Life is not about you, what happens to you, how it affects YOU, what YOU will do, where YOU stand in the middle of it.¬† Life is not about YOU. And yet…everything is about You.¬† Figure out where you stand and why you stand there…and then move forward. Bring that energy outwards and use it for someone else.¬† You need to know YOU to know what it is you even have to offer someone else.¬† Taking the time, do the work…then move past it.

Many people get stuck in the self search.¬† For most people, life is all about them. Everything that happens is taken personally, and most people become blindly self-absorbed unable to look up from their own lives. Be aware that there is a fine line here.¬† You HAVE to spend time in introspection and self understanding. Otherwise, you will continue to prove Einstein‚Äôs definition of insanity true; doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, really is crazy. But the result of the self search will be that you take what you learn of yourself and become of greater service to the world.¬† Woman often tell me that they don‚Äôt have the ‚Äútime‚ÄĚ or that by taking the time to spend with themselves, they feel ‚Äúguilty‚ÄĚ. Our culture has been very negligent in respecting our personal need for introspection.¬† If you want to give so much to your family, friends, job ‚Äď then you have to know what it is exactly you are giving them?

Can you sit with yourself?

Take yourself out to lunch?

Can you be as giving to yourself when there is no one around to approve the giving?

How much giving do you do for the approval of others?

Being still and alone requires that we also be alone with our thoughts. Our boredom.¬† We are thrill seekers, and when there is no chaos, often we will try to create it.¬† Being still means doing nothing and getting out of the way. Be a watcher, not a fixer. Spend time with yourself and start to enjoy your own company. One of my favourite essays by Canadian songwriter Tanya Davis called “How To be Alone” illustrates in¬†fine¬†detail the struggles we may encounter in standing still and taking the time and energy to get to know yourself as well as you would a partner or a friend. The poem urges you to start small and grow from there: lunch by yourself, then to a movie maybe, a dinner with fine linens and no book to uphold between you and your fear of the perceptions of those around you. If you are at first lonely, be patient ‚Äď Davis advises.¬† You will find that over time, the way you make choices and how you treat yourself and the people around you will change because the value you place on the opinion of others will change. You will need¬†more time to be still and centered in self¬†and will find that what you have to offer those around you will grow exponentially.

It is important to have quiet time every day to maintain this connection. Learning what works for you takes time and things may feel a little new and awkward at first, like any new habit, learning how to integrate your spiritual interior in the life and habits you have always had.   Standing still and taking the time to understand yourself before reacting to anything will result in naturally more serene and connected life and will help you to become conscious and acknowledge the influence of the spiritual in your daily life.